the black lullaby

Last night I got into a serious argument with a friend of mine who was beating herself up for the way she felt about another woman.

Her religious upbringing is making her feel sick about what has happened to her and she just can’t seem to turn away from the fact that falling in love with someone from the same sex is wrong.

It’s crazy ain’t it? The social barriers that block our way of thinking. The minute someone expresses a deep and meaningful emotion towards a person of the same sex, they’re immediately labeled and their genuine emotions are called feelings of LUST. This sort of thing disgusts me because I believe that love has no gender.

The entire concept of falling for a PERSON and not a SEX is completely lost because it’s unhealthy somehow. Who wrote these freakin rules?

Hell I’ve been in love with a person of the same sex and it wasn’t because I wanted to experiment with my sexuality or because I felt the need to get some guy action. These are just excuses people make to hide the “so-called” embarrasing truth of their true feelings. I saw someone who was worth loving and I loved unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. I understood things about him that no one else will ever understand and under the raw surface of an unfeeling creature who never took life seriously I found a sensitive human being who could change your perspective on life, should you let him reveal his true self to you.

Within the cages of society, this would place me in direct violation of about three thousand social protocalls. But had I obeyed my “supposed to’s” instead of my “maybe’s” then I would have never experienced what it was to love so passionately and unselfishly.

The point here is that a lot of people turn their backs on such encounters just because they’re not supposed to feel that way. I’m not saying that the whole world should suddenly turn into a place where only same-sex relationships prosper, but the message I carry here is that people shouldn’t be forced to turn their back on someone they love just because they ARE from the same sex.

After much debate last night my friend told herself that she would say yes to this boy who had been asking her out for quite some time, in hopes that it would get her mind off this girl. I support her decision because it is her life after all and she is my friend, but I do feel sorry for her.

So get this, the boy wants to go out with her, the girl wants a relationship with her and that’s pretty much the same thing she wants too. But her fear has pushed her in the direction of the boy. Is this just me or did three lives just get seriously screwed up?

Hello people…

Hope you checked out some of the chatroom pics… more pics are available at daytripper.wordpress.com

The Fairy Dance page has been updated with a tiny tiny little itsy bitsy synopsis on the book.

The Black Verse page has been updated with my latest poem titled “Erotica Unplugged” which is also available on my homepage.

I haven’t had the time to write a new article for The Dark Side of Beautiful but as soon as I do I shall post it!

Ok I think that’s about all the new stuff for now so yea…

B.

Oh yea and I changed the theme again… like the heading says, it’s a collection of disturbing thoughts and clearly I am disturbed.

Hello boys and girls, hope you like my new poem… It will also be available on the Black Verse page with all my other poems soon. Check it out.

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Erotica Unplugged

My blood turns an unholy red,

When your lips touch the back of my neck,

Your eyes hurt the core of my brain,

While you give me the pleasure of pain,

Your tongue drives my soul half insane,

Like you’re shooting me up with cocaine,

The locks of your hair get me high,

The mood you create makes me cry,

I feel your heart beat with mine,

But your spirit remains undefined,

When I hold you I sense what you sense,

And I’m letting down every defense,

Your fingers trail down from my mouth,

Your thighs make my weak voice shout,

The marks that your teeth leave behind,

Have scarred me with bliss unrefined,

My hands merge with yours in the stride,

Leaving all misconceptions behind,

My ears hear you whisper my name,

As we become one in the same,

Each move moves me even close,

Love me till I overdose,

The beads of your lust trail my chest,

I feel myself nearing conquest,

The ceiling has burst into song,

There is no more right and wrong,

Nothing is now as it seems,

As we get lost in liquid dreams,

Your breathing slows down like you’re done,

But my darling I’ve just begun.

Brandon Ingram

Early this morning my darling grandma was flying to Italy once again. I swear I’ve lost track of the number of times she flies around and where she heads off to. I hope this time she gets there without incident though.

Apparently the last time she had to catch a connecting flight from Rome and the airport was so confusing she had ended up at the wrong terminal and missed the flight.

My mom’s sister lives over there with her family and my grandma tries to divide her time between us equally, but honestly I think she likes Venice a little more than she does Colombo, I don’t blame her though.

But the thing is, she’s gone again and I’m going to miss her very vibrant spirit around the house and her lovely, lovely food. She must be flying right now as I write and I pray that she has a safe journey.

The Chatroom Set on Dress Rehearsal Night

The Cast in Order of Appearance

With the Director

all photographs by deshan tennekoon

That’s us.

The first line of that song is gonna be stuck in my head for a really long time. Thank you to everyone who found the time and made it to see Chatroom. We really appreciated you guys’ support and all your best wishes.

To see all that hard work pay off was wonderful. If we were able to leave any sort of message with our audience or make them remember our characters, then we’ve really accomplished something.

Thanks to everyone who helped out in every little way, it meant a lot you guys.

And I’ll tell you, this is one of the funnest casts I’ve been part of and I had a great time with all you guys.

More strength to Tracy and Akhry for taking the risk and doing this, let’s not let it stop here…

Chatroom has been a Mind Adventures Theatre Company Production, Directed by Tracy Holsinger and Starring Arun Welandawe-Prematilleke, Subha Wijesiriwardene, Ruvin de Silva, Erasha Sugathapala with Tehani Chitty as Laura and Brandon Ingram.

Stay tuned folks, we’ve got more of where that came from…

B.

Needless to say I’m shaking… The six of us will be preparing ourselves for opening night in just a few hours and suddenly the arm of nervousness, which was absent thus far, has touched me!!!

I fear forgetting my light cues, my words, my sound cues and worst of all, not being able to get the emotions right.

We’ve been working really hard since last November and this is it. Of all the plays I’ve done thus far, this still remains the most challenging… A set that contains only 6 chairs which means that all attention will be focussed specifically on the acting. And the acting includes sitting in a chair and not making eye contact with anyone, just the imaginary screen in front of us.

As the lumps make their way into my throat I’m ready to shut down and leave office now.

Heaven help us.

Love you all and have a great weekend…

B.

You know what guys… I really tried to get myself to like the whole white thing… Somehow it’s not working out… I really don’t get why this is but it doesn’t feel right you know…

And like Dimithri said, the white theme kinda hurts the eyes…

I’m a big boy, I can admit it when I make a mistake… Sigh… So black it is and black it shall be and by the way I really do love this theme and right now I’m kicking myself in the ass wondering why I changed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go figure…. Ok let’s let by gones be by gones cause the black lullaby is back in black.

By Paulo I mean the author – Paulo Coelho.

About three years ago my and my friends in office were having a chillout session while we were brainstorming over some ideas and suddenly the topic switched to books. One of my friends then announced that she was reading “Veronica Decides to Die” and we all laughed because we thought the title was quite funny and you know how people can on about stuff like that right?

Anyway, after having read Veronica Decides to Die, my friend then moved on to read yet another book by the same author titled “Eleven Minutes” and she loved that one too. She explained to me in great detail the simplicity of the written style and I was quite intrigued. She then got online and did research on the author himself and that kinda got me to thinking that he must be different to the Sheldons and Grisms of this world.

I was then told that the author’s name was Paulo Coelho. Then just last year while I was in Singapore, I picked up Eleven Minutes and began reading it. The impact it had on me was so great that the next time my mom was heading out of the country I gave her a list of all his other books that I wanted.

The beauty of it is that he takes the reader on such a soul searching journey and where it leaves you when you’re done is so amazing. Through his words he broadens your perspective on life and helps you see things in a different point of view. Even a man covered in sin has a life worth explaning for Coelho and that is what gets you at the end of it.

If you haven’t read his books yet then you should and each of them are categorized into his journey of finding that bit of salvation that you and I crave for on this earth. He encourages you to experience the following with each book that you spend time with…

Wisdom – The Alchemist

Humility – The Pilgrimage

Hope – The Valkyries

Forgiveness – By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

Faith – The Fifth Mountain

Redemption – Veronika Decides to Die

Courage – Warrior of Light

Love – Eleven Minutes

Obsession – The Zahir

Temptation – The Devil and Miss Prym

At present I am reading The Zahir and it’s like nothing I’ve read before. The way he defines the human soul and what it’s meant for is so beautiful. So if any of you do have the time, pick one up and escape into… wherever it is that you want to.

B.