the black lullaby

Friend, we haven’t lost our way. We are those who’ve been left behind to find our own way. And along that way we’ve discovered truth, freedom and greatness.

We’ve learned ways of life that others have only dreamed of and we’ve learned how to continue loving long after they’ve left with our hearts.

Those who laugh at us, laugh not because they’re superior but because in our presence they feel inferior.

We fear no defeat because they’ve beaten us into the ground and all that’s left for us to gain is victory.

We fear no loss because we’ve lost it all and what we have now, no one can take away.

We fear no death because we’ve lived each moment like it was our last, like tomorrow would never come.

We are a strange kind of people in search of something we cannot find, yet we never give up looking because we know it’s there, somewhere.

To understand us they need to become us and that my friend they can never be. For unlike us they weren’t left behind. Unlike us they’ve never had to hope, to wish, to want, to need, to give, to love, to lose.

But let them wait for us, if they can, for we will find our way soon and when we do, they will watch us do great things.

Brandon Ingram 

First of all, WOW, what an unexpectedly crappy day…

Since midnight I’ve been told the following by many different people:

‘Birthdays are a bit moody aren’t they?’

‘Everyone gets mopey on their birthday!’

‘You’re depressed on your own birthday?’

‘You shouldn’t let anyone else make THIS day misserable for you…’

So on and so forth. But I still can’t figure it out for myself though. It’s like I’m waiting for something special to happen, I don’t know what it is but all I know is that when it does happen, I’ll know. I’ve got eight hours to go before this day is done, before tomorrow comes and another year goes by to this day again. And that something special has still not happened.

But as I wait for it to happen, I couldn’t help but look back on the past 22 years and recap my life. Things that have happened, people who’ve come and gone, places I’ve been to, things I’ve done that I’m proud of, things that I’ve done that I’m not so proud of. Why is it that we have to wait for a wedding, a funeral or a birthday to reflect this way?

Maybe because they’re the moments in life that really get us thinking and help us redefine ourselves before we move any further.

I’ve come a long way and I’ve got a long way more to go. Yet, I can’t help thinking of everything that has happened to shape and craft my life and make it what it is today. We’re all just waiting for the right moment in time to do something special, never realizing that those moments happen all the time and we just don’t notice them because we’re always busy waiting for them instead of living them.

These memories hurt because they sting a place in your heart that cannot be healed or changed, it’s called the past. But in hindsight, what a fantastic past it has been. My today is a result of my yesterday and I wouldn’t change that yesterday for anything.

The glory and the loss, the joy and the pain, the heartbreak and the wonder, the feeling of freedom and fear, the mistakes and the wise words, the laughter and the tears, the dancing and the abuse, the lust and the love, the experiences good and bad, the friends and the enemies… I cherish them all and best of all, I have no regrets.

So here’s taking a deep breath and saying happy birthday to me.

B.

this is me reciting ‘You & I’ at The Awakening… The poem is available for your reading pleasure on the Black Verse section of this blog.

pic by Thilini Perera 

Hello all…

As promised, The Fairy Dance page now features the First Chapter of the book. This is your first preview at what is to be released on the 21st of September 2007.

Only for readers of the black lullaby.

B.

As you all probably know, the launch of my very first book is happening next month. You’ve been reading about it now and again and now you’ll finally get to the read the entire book, if you’ll be kind enough to buy a copy : )

What I’d like to do is offer a humble invitation to 20 (twenty) of my readers, I’d be honored if you would be there at the launch.

If any of you would like to be there just leave a reply to this post with your name and email address and I’ll send you your invitations.

The date is the 21st of September – a Friday and the time’s at 7pm.

The venue will be the Barefoot Cafe.

B.