the black lullaby

she wants a life of sun and song
but she’s been high for way too long
she wants to find a way
to separate her night from day
cause she’s addicted to that
hardcore aphrodisiac

he cries and hides away his face
he knows he’s living in disgrace
he kneels again to pray
to ask for strength no more to stray
but he’s addicted to that
hardcore aphrodisiac

when they are one
they both become
two perfect parts of harmony
but when they part
then they both start
to play their own dark symphony

she’s lost in clouds of red and gold
she’s got nobody’s hand to hold
and when she’s sane again
she’ll start to feel the needless pain
she’s still addicted to that
hardcore aphrodisiac

he wakes up wondering where he is
he looks beside him and he sees
a new mistake lies dead
on his dirty satin bed
he’s still addicted to that
hardcore aphrodisiac

they try so hard
to stand on guard
but they don’t know just where to start
he wants his sin
she needs her vice
and neither wants to pay the price
to let it go
for they both know
that they’re addicted to that
hardcore aphrodisiac

brandon ingram

I’ve been tagged by thekillromeoproject… basically you write five words to describe how you feel about recent events in Sri Lanka, you tag five bloggers and forget it…

1. Thankful
2. Curious
3. Confused
4. Intrigued
5. Forgiving

And my tags are:

Missing Sandwich
Sweet Idiot
Cinderella
Electra
Daytripper

just tagging away…

Far away in a desert of sleep stood a little lost boy without any feet. He may have walked and he may have run but the ground beneath him was always numb. I’d heard them say he had no name, he spoke no words and felt no pain. But those who’d seen him would often tell of the way in which he cast his spell. He’d opened their minds to memories of their love and hope and misery. He’d held their hands and touched their eyes and kissed their lips and changed their lives.

And so it came to pass one day that in my sleep I lost my way. I found myself in that strange, strange land the one with all the golden sand. There I saw him, then I knew, all I’d heard was very true. He sat beside me, he spoke no lies, he sang no songs and he made no smiles. Through lips that stayed so very still he pecked the air and made it chilled. As the cold wind drank my blood it all came back like a gushing flood. “Remember” said the silent voice as angels cried and devils rejoiced.

Remember the words you can’t take back, the hurt they caused with your attack. Remember the hearts you broke in vain for when yours breaks it’ll lessen the pain. Remember the lies you needlessly spoke they will help you laugh when your life is a joke. Remember the truths you uttered so strong they will be your salvation when the night seems long. Remember the dead and what they’ve left behind, learn from their deeds in your own time. Remember the craving you felt in your soul and look for the pieces that will make you whole.

Remember the tears that others have shed so that you may have a better life instead. Remember the darkness, remember the light so that you may know what is wrong and right. Remember the glory and drown and its sound but when it’s all over have your feet on the ground. Remember the wisdom of those here before so that you can always tell your friend from your foe. But remember yourself above all the rest for that is what matters at the time of your test. Know your true weakness and your true strength throughout your life in all its length.

Before I knew it I’d found my way, I’d lived to see another day. The boy was gone, he was no more, a faded image along life’s road. “Remember” he’d said in muted speech and so I did as he’d beseeched. The emptiness of life was gone like the final note of an aching song. It wouldn’t be that way again not in sunshine, not in rain. For no matter where your fate is set, you must learn never to forget.

Brandon Ingram

Last night  was by far the best gathering I’ve seen at any open mic so far. I don’t know whether it was because everyone did more than read something or if it was Mariam’s breathtaking voice or the fact that Richard Simon called me the most beautiful mic stand he had seen but whatever it was, it made me smile.

We have our own take on how things are and how they should be and I think the one thing we don’t have is an audience to share these thoughts with. We’ve become so intoxicated with our own beliefs and viewpoints that now, no matter what someone else has to say, we’re not willing to listen or even if we do listen (as Shanaka said last night) we don’t hear them, because we’re probably too busy hearing ourselves.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we are a bunch of people who are strongly opinionated and I think it’s a good thing to have those opinions questioned now and again or to simply hear what someone else has to say about them. You’d be surprised at what you find out, which is why I think I liked last night’s session than some of the ones we’ve had before. People actually interacted and shared their views on someone else’s piece. I was thinking, had those pieces been blog posts, and some of them were, you’d probably have a response to each and every one of them because you’d have the time to craft your words and drive your point across clearly. You’d be able to think and re-think what you want to say and how you want to say it just to be politically correct.

But there is so much more beauty in the transfer of words that happen face to face because you don’t just read into what other people are saying, you feel them saying it, with all the emotion they carry with each word.

I really don’t know why I’m going on about this but it’s probably because I went home last night a happy-chappy knowing that if a small gathering of those who were willing to listen to each other was possible, then there might be hope for us after all.

Thank you for the experience, hope it gets better next time.

B.

The launch date has been officially changed to the 25th of June. It kicks off at 7 pm at Barefoot and anyone who wants to be there is welcome.

These past few days have been busy in the world of me and this book because the laid out copy has hit my desk and I’ve been busy making some last minute changes.

I’ve also received the first draft of the cover and even though I liked it very much I’ve decided to change it after I received Sam and Ameena’s comments.

The book will be sold at 690 LKR and it will be available for purchase at the launch. The Fairy Dance will also be on offer at the launch and if you buy both books you spend 190 rupees less.

The Fairy Dance = 500 LKR

Living Their Lie = 690 LKR

Both (launch date only) = 1000 LKR

The first chapter of the second book will be up on the ‘living their lie’ page of this blog two weeks before the launch. Keep reading and will update with more info.

B.

Alright, so this weekend I discovered that anyone who says their weekends in Colombo are dull are probably lying or they’re simply too lazy to get out and have some fun. Here’s a quick glimpse into what my weekend was like in Colombo (for a change, since I seem to be out of the city more often than not).

It all started with an impromptu conversation with a very close friend about having an ice cream at Carnival. I was on my way out of the office to meet up with my friend when a colleague asked me to come play with him at the Inter-Agency Pool Tournament, which was being hosted by Leo Burnett. I really didn’t want to play because even though I’m alright with pool after a few drinks, I didn’t think I was ‘tournament’ material. However, because there was no one else to go play with my colleague I said ok. So after a quick ice cream at Carnival with my friend I dragged her along with me to Leo.

We decided to walk half way and I have to say that taking a walk along the streets of Colombo at 6.30 pm is most interesting. I believe that we’ve gotten too used to the cab services and the tri shaws that roam about freely and we don’t take in enough of the city, which has a rather remarkable personality after dark.

Anyway, we got to Leo and hung out there for a bit before the opposing team arrived to take us on. We were playing Men’s Doubles and I was ecstatic when we won the first game, especially since I played the winning shot (it really was a good shot). However, we lost the next too games and therefore were eliminated from the tournament, but I have a t-shirt that says I played so yippee! (Yes, little gestures like that make me very happy)

Afterward I hung out with my friend before we decided to go out. The plan was to do something relaxing and not really go out partying. So not long after, we hooked up with the rest of our gang who by that time were already at the Jaic Hilton listening to the music of ‘Flame’. It was a very chilled gathering but unfortunately the kitchen at the Jaic was closed and we were really very hungry. So we cringed and begged and pleaded and finally the waiters felt sorry for us and said they would toss some pasta together. But it wasn’t just any kind of pasta, it was sea food pasta and it was quite yum. The UBR at the Jaic clearly rocks for having done that. Respect!

So after the food, there was no way in hell we could have gone home so we went to Sugar instead. Now I have to say that I’m not particularly fond of Sugar because once you’re in there it’s like you’ve been thrust into a video game in which you have to try and avoid the various people who keep walking up and down aimlessly. Every time you start dancing someone decides to walk past and there isn’t a whole lot of space to use so you’re always getting tossed around and someone is always spilling their drink on you or glaring at you because you accidentally touched their butt while someone else was pushing you aside to wish his long lost cousin a happy birthday.

A few tequilas later, it didn’t matter anymore. I was just going with the flow and a new friend arrived every five minutes so it was that much nicer. But I was amazed at the amount of people I ran into that night. I met people from school, people I had worked with in the past, people I work with currently, people I’ve gone to bed with, people who I’ve wanted to go to bed with, people who’ve wanted to go to bed with me, people who I’d met at church camps, people I’d met through other people on trips, people who’ve dated my exes and the list goes on and on…

The dancing continued until four in the morning by which point I’d danced with almost everyone there! I spent most of my night dancing with a Surgeon and then I was dropped home by a Lawyer, interesting combination I thought. But I woke up early the next morning because I was having photographs of myself taken.

Got to the photographer’s place at 10.30 and he was still asleep so I read ‘The Concept of Law’ or tried to read it because almost every other sentence in the book was ‘What is law?’ Soon I had a nice home cooked lunch and began the shoot, which I must say went off very well, can’t wait to share the pictures with everyone. We tried out some amazing shots with swords and masks and various poses in a sarong and a suit. Very cool.

So was done with that and got back home late in the afternoon and got stoned out of my mind before watching ‘The Rise of the Lycans’. Tripped on it insanely and was quite intrigued at how much the gothicness of the thing appealed to me, it was like celluloid seduction! Fascinating. Have to say a few things about the movie:

I didn’t think that it lived up to the hype that came before it, although I believe the link to the first movie was very strong. I found it fucking amazing that Rhona Mitra and Kate Beckinsale actually looked so similar and that made the entire story of Victor liking the new girl because she reminded him so much of his daughter Sonia so believable. I enjoyed the movie but I wanted more of an entrancing adventure, especially because it was supposed to be the way it all began.

Moving on… after the movie I showered and went out for drinks with the adopted family. Decent Saturday evening conversation that ended with dinner at Agra. Let’s talk about the food there. Simply delectable. It was as though each dish catered to a different taste bud and you could taste the culinary craft with each bite you took. I love that place and I recommend it to anyone who likes Indian food.

After a fabulous night’s sleep I went out for a good old Sunday afternoon lunch at the adopted grandparents house. We discussed politics and theatre and the rise and fall of mankind in general before sitting down to a lovely meal followed by ice cream!

After lunch I had time to kill before the evening plan so I started watching ‘True Blood’ – an HBO Original Series starring Anna Paquin on how Vampires now freely roam among normal people and how the Japanese have created synthetic blood for them so they no longer have to kill humans to survive (trust the Japanese to have come up with synthetic blood!). I finished the first three episodes and I will be home early this evening to watch more because it’s the kind of series I could get hooked on. This also makes me strangely question my vampiric inclinations… Hmmm…

So after that, I headed out to the British School to watch Encounters. Here’s what I thought of both plays. The first one, the Waiting Room, was considerably boring. This is in no way a reflection of either Adam’s or Ranmali’s performance because they are both actors I respect very much. But I did feel that the script was slightly predictable all the way to the end, until it was revealed what they were really waiting for.

Although, I have to say kudos to Adam for having essayed the role he did. I was telling my adopted mommy, who I was with at the play, that I had questions as to whether or not Colombo was ready for my second book and its content, but after watching last night’s performance I believe they are. I think it took a lot of guts to play the role of a gay man to a predominantly Muslim audience, or so it seemed last night. The way in which it was both played and received was commendable.

The second play, Love Letters, didn’t quite reach me at the beginning. But as the story continued and as more and more of the letters were read I began to get more and more involved in the play. By the end of the play, in that hour and a half, I’d lived through the lives of two very different people whose relationship was based, primarily, on the letters they wrote each other. During the first half of the play I believed that Adam and Tracy’s acting skills were wasted simply sitting in comfortable chairs and reading those letters with their slight change of expression in responding to each others’ notes now and again. But as the play progressed I realized the power of ‘less is more’.

I don’t know whether it was because the presentation of the play reminded me a little of ‘Chatroom’ or whether the story of two friends who had a kind of love for each other none of them could properly express unless they wrote it down spoke a little too closely to my heart but by the end of the play I was in tears and I couldn’t stop crying even after I walked out of the auditorium.

I’ve always known that all we have with us in this world is very temporary but to have it displayed so vividly through a simple reading of letters made my heart tremble. To have Melissa speak of visiting her grandmother in one letter and then ten or fifteen letters later (with a lot of time having passed in between) to hear that her grandmother had passed away, it was a gentle reminder that nothing lasts forever.

A simple production with a subtle element to it that made me think so deeply about life and how much of it we waste waiting and craving and not acting on what we feel. I’d like to thank the Performing Arts Theatre Company for a wonderful evening of theatre, hope to see more soon.

Right… so that being done, we headed to Sakura for dinner, nothing new there since we eat there almost every other week. By the end of the night I was ready for Monday morning the way one ideally should be (I don’t know how that is, I’m just saying it because it feels nice to say it).

Back at work now but I have to say, if all my weekends can be as fun as this one, then it would make the week all the more worth it with all its stresses and trials and ridiculousness.

Have a great week everyone…

B.