the black lullaby

Ok so I’ve been tagged by thekillromeoproject and it seems I have to write this letter to my past self, this should be interesting. Here we go…

Dear me,

I’d like to tell you that you’ve made all the right choices in life but the truth is you didn’t. Please wipe that look of absurd shock off your face immediately and read through to the end. 

Yea, so you didn’t make the right choices, most of the time, and sometimes with a little guidance you managed to break even. But get this. Through every mistake you are going to make, you’re going to become a stronger person. Think about that when you lock yourself up in your room, spending hours feeling sorry for yourself.

Our mother is not our enemy, in fact, in time, she will become your best friend. I’m pretty sure you’re confused right about now and thinking ‘what the fuck is he talking about?’ (that’s another thing, don’t swear so much at such a young age, there will be more of a need for it later on), but I digress. Anyway, our mother is actually the coolest ever, so stop giving her so much of shit just because your teenage instinct is to do so. 

I know that you’re never going to get serious about your studies and quite honestly, just do what you’re doing for now, it’ll work out. Never stop being persistent, learn to appreciate the time you spend with your family and stop being so fucking dramatic about every little thing. 

Now about this love thing. As difficult as this might sound to you, you don’t fall in love with everyone you go out with. That’s just lame and you should stop saying it, you sound (in your time) like a friend that you will meet (in my time) that you will constantly have to roll your eyes at because he will remind you of you when you’re your age (does that make any sense?)

But you will fall in love, truly, madly and deeply in love and when it happens you will feel like you’ve never felt before, ever. The thing though is that it will happen at a time when you’re not ready for it, sorry dude, no one’s ever ready for it. But you’ll live, at least until where I am right now.

Say a prayer when the year 2006 begins, it’s going to be a bad one. But when it draws to a close, you will meet some exceptional people who will turn your life around in more ways than you can imagine. Don’t go looking for them though, let them find you in their own time.

Also, and this is very important, stop being so fucking judgmental. It’s irritating and it’s annoying and even though loads of people around you won’t call you on it (because they’re too busy being judgmental themselves), it’s still very uncool. Every human being has a right to be who they are and you have no right to judge them because every time you do, someone’s out there judging you. 

Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, that allows it to be damaged easily. Don’t trust everyone you meet, you’d be surprised at the ones who turn on you (and believe you me, they WILL turn on you). Never stop following your heart because I still do. Stop being so fucking preachy about cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana and other recreational drugs, because when you get to be me you’ll basically be an alcoholic chimney who’s constantly on cloud 9.

Don’t take religion so seriously, it’s meant to guide not to dictate. I think I’ve pretty much covered it all… oh yea, there’s one thing that’s not going to change very much from then to now… you’re still a slut.

Now go to sleep and forget you ever read this letter because through every tear, heartache and moment of misery, you will learn to live, really, really live and I promise you, you’ll love it all.

With much love from you.

PS. Go easy on the hair color because we still like our natural hair, the various colors, not so much. Oh and a few days before you star in a play called ‘Hamlet at Elsie’s Bar’, you’ll have the urge to go to a salon, please don’t. Just go for rehearsals.